I see you now
by Equinox20
Summary: Rachel has left McKinley and nobody knows why. Nobody really cares and nobody is happier then Quinn that the diva is finally gone, that is until one chance meeting changes everything.  Trigger inside
1. Chapter 1

**Summary**: A/U. Rachel has left McKinley and nobody knows why. Nobody really cares and nobody is happier then Quinn that the diva is finally gone, that is until one chance meeting changes everything. (Trigger inside)

**A/N**: This does deal with Cancer so if that is a trigger for you then I advise not to read it. I will handle this as sensitively as possible, but this story will be 'angsty' in parts but it will also be a story about beautiful moments coming from terrible situations.

**A/N2**: Some of you may remember this story posted many moons ago but I pulled it down because I couldn't spare any time to write it, but now I'm ready to write it so hopefully you're still interested.

~#~#~

**I was wrong about you**

The disappearance of one Rachel Berry had the halls of McKinley High buzzing with gossip and rumours about what could have happened to the annoying brunette. Kidnap, murder and even alien abduction were among the theories on the gossip mill. Whatever the reason nobody could have been happier about the news then Quinn Fabray, who could not help but smile now the burden of her high school existence was gone.

The HBIC strolled through the parting students with a confident walk that she had perfected after years of practice. Santana and Brittany after seeing her began to cruise along either side.

"So have you heard Stubbles is gone, nobody knows where or why but she has finally taken the hint and left. "

Quinn raises one eyebrow, another thing she had perfected, "And I should care because…?"

"Because this means Finn is back on the market and how better to fully solidify your HBIC status by starting to date him again" She receives a smirk from Quinn and continues, "I'm thinking at the weekend we host a little party round mine where you can be reacquainted with one Mr Hudson"

Quinn slows to a stop and sighs "this weekend, I can't my parents have me on this stupid Christian volunteer program at the hospital."

Santana rolls her eyes clearly unimpressed "Seriously why can't you make up some excuse, say I'm having a study group round mine or something"

"Santana do you seriously think my parents are stupid enough to believe that after the last excuse I made about staying out late resulted in Beth? …besides everything is planned and there is a good chance I might be able to volunteer on the maternity unit"

Santana sighed; she knew giving up Beth was a sore point for Quinn and since then children and babies were the only thing that softened the girl's '_hard as steel _façade

"Okay you go on your silly volunteer thingy, but don't think this Finn situation will be forgotten"

Santana hugged the blonde and then linked hands with Brittany as they entered their Spanish Class together. Quinn sighed and walked off in the direction of her next class, she decided it wouldn't be a great time to tell her friend that she really wasn't all that interested in dating at the moment.

~#~#~

The weekend was finally here and Quinn was ready for her long day at the hospital. She really hoped they would place her on the maternity ward, because since giving away Beth, Quinn couldn't help but feel like she had this gaping hole inside her that was slowly consuming everything. She was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard her father call her from down stairs, sighing she grabbed her bag and left.

It was only a short drive to the hospital but the atmosphere inside the car was so tense that Quinn was happy to reach her destination. She said a hurried "I'll call you later" to her dad and walked toward the hospital entrance. She went straight to reception and gave over her details and received a piece of paper with some information typed on it. After reading a while her shoulders slumped, "Cancer ward … you have got to be kidding me!" She gave a low groan and then looked up at the signs; she then followed them to where she needed to be and couldn't help the feeling that this day was going to suck, big time.

At the entrance of the ward she saw a small group of about five people all her age huddled in front of a much older man. She quickly assumed this was the volunteer group she was assigned to and joined them.

"You must be Quinn" the older guy smiled and she gave him a slight nod. "Excellent, right so we're all here, let me introduce myself my name is Steve I am the volunteer organiser from the church. Okay before we enter the ward I want to explain a few things. One, do not be afraid to introduce yourselves to the patients that is of course why we're here, they are all around your age so you should have some things in common. Now you will notice some will have their curtains drawn around their cubicles, please respect their privacy and leave them alone they are more than likely sleeping. I will warn you though that this might be upsetting for some of you. Some of these kids are very poorly and it may be distressing. If you find it too hard at times just come back out here and take a few moments. And finally don't forget they just like to be treated like normal, sometimes Cancer can make them feel isolated from the outside world, so just be yourselves. Okay so that's all I guess, when you're ready just go on in, if anyone needs me I'll be around so just come and find me."

With that the small group she was with hesitantly entered the ward, Quinn lingered at the back but eventually made it in. She looked around and took a deep breath, Steve had been right it was slightly overwhelming. These kids were her age and she couldn't help but see all the IV drips and head scarves, and all the things you'd expect when faced with Cancer. She took a deep breath and began to walk through the ward; she felt slightly uncomfortable and didn't want to make eye contact with anyone. She saw the rest of the volunteers from her group already introducing themselves to different patients, but she kept walking ahead. She began to think that she may not be able to do this as she neared the end of the ward. She was about to turn back when she glanced to a lonely figure curled up in bed with their back toward her. Quinn couldn't see the teenagers face, but something about the seeing the way the tuffs of brittle hair patched across her scalp, and her small shoulders bent over as if she were hugging herself made Quinn's heart bleed. She wondered where the girls family were. Slowly Quinn walked over to the bed. She tried to be as quiet as she could because she had a feeling the girl might be asleep and really didn't want to wake her up. As Quinn reached the foot of the bed she saw the girl shift slightly, Quinn stopped until the girl settled on her back and brought her arms down away from her face.

Suddenly Quinn gasped "Berry?" she said and brought both her hands up to cover her mouth. The small girl's eyes opened wide and stared straight at her.

"Quinn?"

_**I would really like some feedback, and feel free to contribute idea's that you might like to see in the story because you never know they might be written in. I have a solid plot for this story, I know how it will end and I have some big parts of the story already written, but I just need to write filler chapters for the spaces in between. Also I don't know when new chapters will be posted, because I work 12 hour shifts on a 3 on and 3 off basis so I will aim to post 1-2 times a week, but some weeks this might be impossible because of being called into work on my days off, so I will try my best. **_


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks for everyone that commented or subcribed after the first chapter, I was not expecting so many to read it so thank you :) I am not the greatest writer, not compared to some of the bloody amazing writers on this site, but I hope you are at least liking what I am writing, and your comments show me what bits you like more than others so I always enjoy reading them. Anyhoo here is chapter 2._

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><p><strong>2.<strong>

"Q…Quinn what are you doing here?" Rachel sat up with as much speed as her body would allow her. She looked at the blond, who still had her hands over her mouth. Feeling slightly self conscious she raised her hand up to rub over her balding scalp. "Oh God" and reached over to the head scarf on the night stand and began tying it around the top of her head, embarrassed she looked at her hands cradled in her lap "Sorry"

Quinn stood there unsure of how she felt. This girl she had known all her high school life, the girl who she never considered a friend and had tried to break for years. That same girl was currently in a hospital bed looking half the person she knew and completely defeated. It was strange and horrible to see Rachel so weak and ill, and she was unsure about why this affected her this much.

"I…I…What are you doing here…oh god I know why you're here but…when…how" She knew she never made much sense but at the moment this whole situation made no sense. She was unable to move and she was beginning to feel like a complete idiot.

Rachel began to fidget; she really hadn't planned for this. She didn't want anyone at McKinley to find out, especially the blonde that was still just standing at the base of her bed with her mouth slightly agape. There was a silence as both tried to feel comfortable in the situation they found themselves in. Rachel looked up at Quinn and saw the girl divert her gaze from her.

"I'm sorry you had to see me like this Quinn but why are you here, is one of these a family member?" she asked timidly trying to divert the subject away from herself.

"err… no I…I'm on a volunteer thing with the church, I … sorry but what happened?"

"Cancer happened Quinn" Rachel could always be trusted to be blunt.

"I know that but when did it happen, you weren't even ill or anything"

"I was diagnosed over the summer, spent most of it in here getting treatment … So is this your first day volunteering here?"

"Uh yeah … what type of Cancer have you got?"

"Leukaemia. So are you enjoying it so far…volunteering I mean"

"I dunno, I only just got here really … how come nobody knows at school?"

"I guess I'm not really friends with anyone enough to tell them, besides what can anyone do?"

"Finn's your boyfriend, didn't you tell him?"

"No Finn and I broke up at the start of summer, are you just going to question me about my being here Quinn?"

Quinn looked at her, and Rachel could almost see the thousands of questions swirling around in the girls brain. She expected the questions, what she didn't expect was to see the emotions attached to them, especially from a girl who made it obvious in the past that she didn't like her very much.

"You can sit down, you know" Rachel said while pointing to the chair beside the bed and saw Quinn eye it hesitantly.

Quinn sat down slowly but immediately began to feel awkward again, so she stared at the hospital band around Rachel's wrist. That's when she really noticed how fragile Rachel was, her wrist was tiny, smaller then usual and had different shades of bruising going from the back of her hand all the way up to the inner crease of her elbow. On her other hand were more bruises and from out of the sleeve of her hospital gown was small tube attached to nothing. Rachel's collar bones protruded from her upper chest, she had lost so much weight, and she was tiny before to begin with. Quinn don't know how long she sat there noticing these differences before a male voice interrupted her, she glanced up and saw a doctor standing at the base of the bed.

"Hey Rachel, how are you feeling today?" The doctor stood quite casually flipping through the charts and nodding at what he was looking at.

"Oh well I'm okay I guess. I haven't been sick today and my gums have stopped bleeding, so I suppose today is a better day" Quinn caught the brunette give a smile but noticed it was missing _something, _she looked back up at the doctor who gave a small nod of his head and a smile.

"That's good to hear, so are you ready for the next course of Chemo?"

"Not really but I have no choice do I ... Oh sorry Quinn this is Dr. Hughes, Doctor this is Quinn, a girl from school"

The pair exchanged nods before the doctor focused on Rachel again.

"So the nurse will be around shortly, I'll be back after okay"

"Okay" she smiled at the doctor who smiled back and walked away.

Quinn looked back at Rachel, "I should go, I'm sure you don't want me here while you're having your treatment"

"Okay, if you want" A slight look of fear passed over the smaller girls face.

Quiin took a deep breath, she could tell Rachel didn't want to be left alone, "Will there be someone with you when you begin your treatment?"

Rachel shook her head.

Quinn nodded and sat there still. She really didn't know what to say. Guilt was slowly consuming her, this girl she had been torturing since forever had been dealing with this all summer and she couldn't help but feel like a complete jerk for acting the way she had toward her.

"Do you want me to .. Um .. Should I stay or something"

Rachel turned to look at her and gave a slight smile, "You don't have to, I mean I'd prefer if someone were here, I don't like this part of the treatment very much and it helps if somebody is here to keep my mind of what's to come."

Quinn nodded her head again, "Where are your dads?"

"work … they left this morning. It gets kinda lonely here without anybody. So how is school?" Rachel asked..

"Erm … well everybody is wondering where you are actually, besides that nothing much, just the same I guess."

An awkward silence fell between them, how could it not with the history they had. Quinn sat there as layer upon layer of guilt kept piling up inside her.

"I'm sorry Rachel … for all the crap I put you through." Quinn lowered her head unable to stop her tears any longer.

Rachel looked at the top of Quinn's bowed head, kind of surprised at where this sudden apology came from. She took a deep breath, "Apology accepted Quinn, thank you for offering to stay here with me"

Quinn lifted her head and their eyes met properly for the first time and both girls smiled. Quinn felt herself relax a little.

"So tell me how your summer has been so far, it will be nice to hear there is life out there besides this hospital" Rachel asked genuinely excited to hear Quinn's answer.

So Quinn told her everything making sure not to leave out any details. She found herself smiling when Rachel would giggle at something amusing within the story; and she listened closely when Rachel would contribute her own little stories. Eventually the nurse came and while answering the 101 questions Rachel was firing at her, Quinn also found herself paying attention to everything the nurse was doing as she attached a IV bag of orange fluid to the tube that she had noticed earlier, which apparently went into Rachel's chest.

After everything that was Quinn's summer was told, it fell silent between the pair again.

"Does it hurt…The tubes in your chest and everything?" She asked as curiosity got the better of her.

"At first it did but not anymore. it's the side effects from the chemo that are the worst, I get really sick .. its not nice."

Quinn nodded. "I'm sorry you've had to go through all this on your own Rachel"

"Well I've had my dad's but it has been nice having you here today Quinn, its made what would have been another boring day much better."

Quinn smiled, "Well maybe I can stop by tomorrow, see how you are … that's if you don't mind of course"

Rachel's smile almost lit up the room, "That would be lovely" she yawned, "sorry all our talking has tired me out"

"wow Rachel Berry getting tired from talking, I never thought I'd see the day" Quinn laughed and Rachel giggled too "I better get going" she glanced at her watch and her eyes widened, "wow I've been here nearly 3 hours I should definitely leave you to get some sleep"

"I'll see you tomorrow then"

"yup, now get some sleep"

Rachel rolled her eyes " okay _mom, _thanks again for staying today"

"no problem, bye Rach"

"Yea bye Quinn"

Rachel's smile never left her face until her eyes closed and she fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

_I hope everyone's New Years celebrations were fantastic, sadly I was working all over mine so never got to go out, but welcome to 2012 everybody! In celebration of a new year and the fact that I only had to work a 6 hr shift instead of a 12, here is a new chapter :D_

_Thanks again for all the reviews and subscriptions, I love reading them all, they always put a smile on my face 3_

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><p><strong>3.<strong>

Quinn entered the hospital the next morning feeling slightly excited, she had no idea why but she didn't question it, it was the best she had felt in a long time. She entered the ward Rachel was on and approached the bed at the far end. She furrowed her eye brows when she saw that the curtain was drawn, and slowly ducked her head around the separation. Two men sat beside Rachel, who was obviously asleep. The men saw her and got up to greet her outside the curtain as to not disturb their daughter.

"Hello can we help you?" The taller of the two men asked

"err … Hi I'm Quinn I…"

She saw both men smile before the taller man spoke again, "Quinn, hi we've heard about you, Rachel said you visited yesterday. She was talking about you most of the afternoon … I'm David by the way, and this is my husband George"

Quinn shook both men's hands, ducking her head with a shy smile.

"How is she?"

"Not good, she has had a tough night with the Chemo, she has hardly slept … we've all hardly slept" George smiled faintly. Quinn took in their appearances, the sadness in their eyes was evident as she could only imagine it would be when their daughter was that poorly. Quinn imagined that right now their lives must have consisted primarily of work and this hospital, sleep and food being last on their minds.

"Why don't you two head home for a bit? I can stay here with her for a while."

"No we can't do that, I mean its not fair on you." David spoke again, Quinn got the impression he was the more caring of the two. Not that George never exuded a certain warmth but he seemed the more logical and stronger one.

"No seriously I don't mind, You two need to rest, I have some magazines I can read while she is asleep and stuff, seriously I don't mind. You look like you need to sleep."

"We do … If your sure Quinn, I mean I feel bad. Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm positive, get some rest and I will get your number from Rachel when she wakes up and phone you later"

"You are a guardian Angel!" Both men surprised her by wrapping her in the warmest hug she had felt in the longest time. She smiled and they thanked her each about ten more times before both going back to gently kiss Rachel on the forehead before leaving.

Quinn made her way to the chair beside Rachel's bed and looked at the girl, she had dark circles around her eyes and looked exhausted. It pained her to see the diva like this, which surprised her as only just three days ago she was convinced she didn't like the girl. She took note of the time and relaxed back into the chair, rummaging through the magazines she had brought and silently began to read.

~#~

An hour or so had passed before Rachel woke up, she stretched weakly and grimaced, the ache in her muscles still foreign to her. She winced against the harsh hospital lights and gave her eyes a few seconds to adjust. It was only then did she realise the blonde sat in the chair beside her. She smiled when she realised it was Quinn.

"Hey, you came" she croaked, her throat still sore from a night of vomiting and crying.

"I said I would. How are you feeling, your dads said you had a tough night?"

"Horrible. I still feel terrible but you're here so that's something to take my mind off of it."

She watched as Quinn gave a genuine smile.

"So I brought some magazines and some grapes, you know the cliché things you bring somebody whose in hospital. I didn't know what you liked so I brought a selection."

Rachel giggled slightly, "Thanks Quinn. Where are my dads?"

"Well they were exhausted so I sent them home and said I would stay here with you while they rested. I will need their number from you by the way to call them later."

Rachel nodded. It was still strange to her that Quinn was being so nice. She didn't like that she was secretly waiting for something bad to happen, but a part of her told her that nothing was going to happen. Maybe they had entered into a new phase of their '_relationship_'. She looked over at Quinn as she went to sit herself upright but the muscles in her arms felt like they were encased in cement, and she slumped back down.

"Are you ok?" The blonde asked and Rachel put on a fake smile.

"I'm fine, its just the side effects from the chemo. It's tough the first couple of days"

Quinn looked at her with concern in her eyes, "I think I should call the nurse, maybe they can do something."

Rachel went to shake her head but a sudden wave of nausea rushed over her and she knew her complexion must have turned impossibly white, because before she knew it Quinn had swiped the bowl off of the cabinet and held it under her chin. She felt Quinn's other hand slide underneath her back and lifting her slightly while she retched. She didn't like this part, she had not been able to eat for the last couple of days due to nausea and mouth sores, so her stomach was empty. All she could do was dry heave, which added to the pain she was already experiencing. Rachel heaved a few more times, each time exhausting her body further then she thought possible, these were the moments she hated. The days that followed Chemo, the days where her hope that she could survive this terrorist in her body was at its lowest. She collapsed back down and felt Quinn remove her hand from her back gently, immediately feeling the lack of warmth it had provided. Quinn placed the hand on her forehead and gently brought it down stroking the tears from her cheek. She put the empty bowl back where she got it from.

"Can you pass me some water" Rachel whispered faintly.

The blonde passed her the cup. She took hold of it but her muscles were completely weak through exhaustion, which made everything an effort and the cup shook violently in her grip. Quinn took the water back and placed a straw in the cup bringing it back to her mouth and holding it for her. She smiled slightly taking sips, it was nice to have somebody other then her dads caring for her. She locked eyes with the blonde briefly and saw the slight panic in her hazel eyes, it must have been scary for her being thrown in the deep end like this. A feeling of guilt settled within her.

"Thank you … Sorry about that"

"Don't apologise." Quinn wiped away another tear, then grabbed her hand and squeezed gently.

Rachel looked down at their hands; "We've skipped the beginning stages of friendship pretty quickly don't you think" She laughed weakly.

Quinn smiled, "Well I think we had no choice. It's just sad its taken something like this for me to get my head from out of my own ass"

"Don't say that, I've always known you were better then all those bullies, I was just waiting for you to prove it, and now you have"

"I'm just sad it's taken this to show me how bad I was toward you, and you didn't deserve it"

"Well I admit there are times I can be annoying, and I do have some diva qualities about me" she smiled, squeezing a little on Quinn's hand.

"Yeah but they don't seem as bad as I made them to be"

Rachel smiled, she felt no more needed to be said between them. She was a firm believer that the past was the past. She looked up at the ceiling and squinted at the hospital lights, which were too strong for her sensitive eyes, "I hate the lights in this place. Why do they have to be so bright?"

She heard Quinn giggle, "Are they hurting your eyes?" She nodded, "well close your eyes for a bit, or take your head scarf off and place it over your eyes it will block it out a little"

Rachel shook her head, she didn't like people looking at her without the bandana on. She still hadn't come to terms with her hair loss. So she closed her eyes, and it wasn't long until she felt sleep overtake her again.

~#~

Quinn squeezed the hand she was still holding and grazed her thumb over the back of it. She could honestly say she had grown to care for the girl in front of her. She didn't know whether that was because Rachel was so vulnerable, or whether it had something to do with the unexplainable feeling she had developed since she had seen Rachel yesterday.

She gently let go of Rachel's hand and walked toward the nurses desk by was ward entrance.

"Hey, I'm just leaving my friend back there, Rachel Berry. She is alone at the moment, if she wakes up before I'm back can you just reassure her that I haven't left."

The nurse smiled up at Quinn, "Sure sweetie, I'm glad a friend has visited her, I was beginning to think the poor girl had no one but her fathers."

Hearing the nurse verify, what Quinn herself had feared was true, hit her harder then anticipated. If she was honest she knew no one else would have visited Rachel, mainly because no one knew where she was, but it still broke her heart to actually hear that Rachel was alone. Much like she had always been, with no real friends apart from her dads. It was right there and then that Quinn vowed to herself that she would never allow Rachel to ever feel like she was not wanted by anyone.

Quinn smiled once more at the nurse before leaving the ward.

~#~

Half an hour later she returned, passing the nurse desk she recognised the same nurse, "Has she woken?"

"No, she is still sleeping, the poor girl is tired" the nurse shrugged sympathetically.

Quinn said a quick thank you and made her way back toward Rachel, no sooner had she sat down the girl woke again.

"Hey sleepyhead, I got something for you. It's a sleeping mask, so the lights wont hurt your eyes anymore" she smiled as she placed the mask over the girls eyes, blinding her.

Rachel giggled, sliding the mask up her forehead and looking at Quinn, "Thank you … You know I've complained about those lights to various people and you're the only one that's offered a sleeping mask as a solution. Very impressive"

Quinn rolled her eyes playfully, "Okay Ms diva, how are you feeling now after your second nap while I've been here. I'm beginning to think I bore you"

Rachel grinned at the playful banter and for the rest of the afternoon they talked about random things, both surprising each other with the amount they actually had in common. At some point Quinn remembered to get Rachel's dad's number from her.

"I'm going to step outside the hospital and give them a call" she said to the girl while getting up. She exited the hospital and dialled Rachel's fathers, "Hey it's Quinn … She is fine, she has been sleeping on and off but that's all … There is no need to thank me … right well I will stay with her until then … no it's no problem, I don't like the thought of her here alone … no seriously its fine … okay see you in an hour, bye"

The hour had passed quickly and before both herself and Rachel knew it, both Rachel's fathers were back.

"Hey sweetheart, how you feeling?" David came in, kissing his daughter on the forehead and taking her hand.

Rachel smiled warmly "Better, a little achy"

George turned to Quinn, who stood back watching Rachel with her dads. "Thank you so much Quinn, seriously I don't know how to thank you"

"Honestly there is no need, she is my friend, I like coming to see her"

"Well, your welcome anytime. Come here give me a hug," Quinn laughed as she locked eyes with Rachel over George's shoulder, the girl was beaming up at her. George leaned back looking at Quinn again, "Do you need me to drive you home?"

Quinn hesitated a little before accepting the offer of the ride home. Secretly she had decided she wanted to know as much about Rachel's type of cancer as she could, if she was to help the girls recovery in anyway. She thought she could use the drive back to her house to ask George for more information.

Before going Quinn walked up beside Rachel's bed and leaned over to kiss her cheek, she noticed Rachel blush slightly, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

Rachel gave a shy smile, "okay."

As she stepped away from the bed and locked eyes with Rachel, she couldn't help but acknowledge that right at that moment she swore her heart skipped a beat.


End file.
